Valduggery: So You've Said (oneshot)
by RedIvySparrow
Summary: Valduggery. Awkwardness. I am truly sorry. But please read and leave a review anyway! ;)


**Dear Readers,**

 **I apologise for uploading at 4:33 on a Monday morning, but I have to be up for school in an hour and a half and I need something to pre-occupy me so I don't fall asleep. If I do I will never wake up again.**

 **Warning: This story is very Valduggery. Don't read if you're not a fan of Valduggery. I personally am not a fan, but enjoy writing about it for some weird reason.**

 **Anyway, Val is about 26/27 in this, and is back from Meek Ridge.**

 **Hope ya like! Please review - opinions and ideas are greatly appreciated.**

 **Love, Cait (RedIvySparrow) xx**

Valkyrie was locked in a cupboard.

She wouldn't have minded, it was big enough for her to fit in, plenty of air to breathe.

She wouldn't have mided before, but she did now, because her idiot skeleton detective was locked in there with her.

And God, it was awkward. They were pressed up against each other, and Valkyrie was staring at the floor wilst he stared at the ceiling.

"You're an idiot." she said, for the billionth time.

"So you've said."

"How the hell did you manage to lock us in a cupboard?"

"You stole my hat. You hid. In my opinion, this is your fault."

"But you didn't have to come into the cupboard."

"You refused to give it back."

She glowered at him. "It's dark."

"I know." She felt him move, and the next thing there was light. Skulduggery's hand cupped around a tiny flame.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"Why is this so awkward?"

"I don't really know."

"Hm," she said. "Me neither."

"It could be because it's so small."

"Yeah..."

"And... Tightly packed."

She nodded. "Yup."

"Do you want to play eye spy?"

"I can only really see you."

"Do you want to play another game?"

"No thank you."

"I think we should make this less awkward. It'll be a while until anyone gets worried about us."

"Mm. Yeah. What do you suggest?"

"I don't know."

"You're a great help." she smiled.

There was a short silence. Valkyrie found she was blushing. "I'm hungry."

"Well, we can't exactly do anything about it."

"No..."

Another silence. Then, "I've been meaning to talk to you actually."

She looked at him. "Hm? What about?"

"Well, China was talking to me the other day, and she said she noticed... Something."

"Something?"

"Between... Us."

"Ah.

"She thought we were flirting."

"Right. Actually, I've been getting that a lot lately. Everyone seems to bring it up."

"I've noticed too."

She hesitated. "Were we?"

"Were we what?"

"Flirting?"

"Well, I don't know."

"When was China talking about?"

"At her library last week. When we were arguing about Grace Kelly. And you said you were way hotter than her. And then I disagreed. And then you hit me."

"Oh. Yeah. We always argue about Grace Kelly."

"I know."

"Well, what do you think?"

"I... I don't know."

Valkyrie replayed the conversation in her head. It was exactly like every other conversation they had.

"I don't know either. But, it's like all of our other conversations, so, if we were," she swallowed, "flirting, then we'd be flirting all the time, not just then."

"Right."

"So we just need to figure out if we were flirting or not." Valkyrie said.

"Yes."

"So, I think the first step to finding out would be to, y'know, see if we," she paused, trying to phrase it right, "want it to be flirting."

That had not gone well. This was so awkward.

"Hm. Well..."

"It's really tight in here."

"It is."

"Sorry. Continue."

"Righ, yes. Well, I don't know. Do you want it to be flirting?"

Valkyrie's instinct was to say no, but, then there was that, feeling. Every so often.

"I don't know."

"This is rather awkward."

"Yeah."

Every so often she would get feeling in her stomach, butterflies, or a wanting to kiss him. She never did it.

"Valkyrie, I'm over four hundred years old."

"I know."

"I'm a skeleton. I am literally dead." he said slowly.

"Yup."

"So..."

"You decide. If it was flirting or not."

Skulduggery shifted a little. "Well, do you want me to tell you what I think it was, or what I'd want it to be?"

It was decidedly hot in the cupboard. Valkyrie felt herself go crimson. "I don't... I don't mind."

There was a pause. That feeling rose up inside of Valkyrie.

"Well, I..."

She interrupted. "Oh, what the hell," she said, and kissed his teeth.

She didn't know what exactly she was expecting. Probably for him to step back, or try to barge the door down. But she certainly wasn't expecting it when he immediately responded to the kiss, activated his façade and kissed her back. Her brain exploded. So many thoughts and emotions flying through her mind. After a moment she broke it off.

"Well, that was..." She faltered, and shut up.

"Brilliant? Amazing? Wonderful?"

"Wow." She raised an eyebrow.

"You're in awe of me."

"I assure you, Mr Pleasant, the only thing about you that I'm in awe of is the size of your ego."

He was smirking. "Well, Miss Cain, that isn't strictly true, now is it?"

The warm feeling was spreading through her again. "Oh get over yourself," she muttered, "I was going to say it was interesting."

He chuckled. "Right..." his voice was sceptical.

She leaned forwards and deactivated his façade. "Much better."

"I told you you're in awe of me."

"Oh shut up."

"So, were we flirting or not?" Skulduggery asked.

Valkyrie grinned, then rolled her eyes and slapped his arm. "You're an idiot."

"So you've said..." he murmured.


End file.
